On optimism, and other qualities I usually don’t possess.
I have a little bit of hope today.
For the first day since December of 2007, my hip doesn’t hurt.That makes me blissfully happy.
This is a momentous occasion for me, because it’s only the second time in about a dozen years that I’ve been pain-free.The other one was after a massage at the end of day 5 of RAGBRAI (a week-long bike ride across the state of Iowa) in 2006.I hope it lasts more than a day this time!!!!
Torturous pain will fuel the fire of depression like no other.Hurting all day, every day, every night for years could take even the best person out.And I was pretty screwed up to begin with.It has hurt so badly, for so long, that I’ve had a hard time believing it would ever end.And I would rather die than live that way forever.
If I can sit in a chair, or stand for more than 20 minutes, or get to sleep at night, or function somewhat like a normal human being, I could maybe keep a job!I could maybe lose all the weight I’ve put on during the years I couldn’t exercise the amount I’m accustomed to.
This could be the beginning of a way out of the darkness.
“Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore