Knowing when to give up

I've never been great at letting go.  At times, the refusal to quit is a great trait to have.  But there are those other moments in life when the line between persevering ... and trying to force something to happen ... gets blurry.  When is enough enough?  When you're satisfied that you've given it your best last shot?  When you're foolishly clinging to something that is probably not meant to be?

Being a person who has immense difficulty accepting failure, I've certainly held fast to many a thing long past its expiration date.  I've doled out too many chances to people who didn't deserve it.  I've given friends the benefit of the doubt, when clearly calling to see how I'm doing never crosses their minds.  But what's really weighing heavily on me at the moment is my career path.

I have a useless master's degree that hasn't been put to use in nearly 4 years.  I invested 7 years of my life in college, worked 2 years in my field, and now can't even get a job close to what my degree should be worth.  Am I desperately clinging to my "investment" because of what it *should* have earned me by now, under some delusion that the seven hundredth job application-resume-cover letter-transcript-reference letter sent out will pay off with a position after all this time?

Ironically, I DID give up on this career 3 years ago.  I gave away all of my books and resources and 99% of the materials I had spent years gathering.  But after trying in vain to get any kind of other job, I have found my degree essentially useless for that purpose.  In fact, I could have gotten more job offers with JUST a high school diploma.  So I tried once again to get the job I am licensed to do and loved at one time.  It's not happening.

Honestly, I just want to say "f**k it."  I am so blessed tired of begging for a job I don't even know if I want anymore.  I have screwed the whole daggone thing up: life, love, work, home, friendship.  *sigh*

Can you hear the "Rent" theme song? This is the economy tribute version...

Slight variation on this classic: hit play and sing along to the new lyrics!

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Job app-li-ca-tions
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
rebuffs to bear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
com-pan-y websites
How do you measure—a wasted degree? 

In networks - on LinkedIn
In resumes - or cover letters
On Monster  -or Twitter
In e-mails and tweets
In - five hundred twenty-five thousand
di-fer-rent job boards
How do you measure a year in this strife?



I’ve had e-nouuuggghhhh

No unemploy-mennnnnnnt
Or health insur-annnnnnnce

Measure in loss
I’ve lost my liiiiiiiiiiifeee

I’ve lost my liiiiiiiiiiifee

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
racked up achievements
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
interview preps
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
hoops that I jumped through
How do you measure the worth
Of a woman or a man?

Soloist #1:

In A’s that she earned
Or the days he just cried
In loans they deferred
Or in bankruptcies filed

It's time now—to scream out
Cuz the job search never ends
Let's commemorate

Remember the year that we wished we were dead

My sala-ry’s now wa-gessssssssss
I’m on antidepress-annnnnnnnnnts

Can’t take more re-jec-tiooonnnnnnnn

My savings is gone

Everything’s gooooooonnne

Soloist #1: Measure, the money in savings

I can’t pay my reeeeennnnnt

Now I am home-leeeessssssss

I don’t get – how I can
Be under- over- qual-i-fi-ied

On food stamps – we’re poor now
The educated un-em-ploy-ed

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
loans in foreclosure
How do you figure the interest on that?

Everything’s goooooooooonnnne!!!!!!!

©downfromtheledge 2010